30 Day Blogs Challenge: Day 6

Before I start Day 6 of the Blog Challenge, I just need to take a minute to brag about how awesome my husband is to me.  He knows I like surprises, but also knows I can usually sniff them out.  I told him I wish the Easter Bunny brought me a basket, and while at work on Saturday, "Happy Easter" flowers were delivered to me at work.  I was so excited, as is every girl who receives flowers, but I wasn't expecting an Easter Basket this morning as well!  He definitely surprised me, and who wouldn't love a basket filled with skittles, my favorite gum, AND a Starbucks gift card. 

I'm a very happy girl :)


Day 6:

List 30 interesting facts about yourself...I'm not sure there are 30 interesting things about me, but I can try and throw some random facts out there.

1. I didn't know how to parallel park until I was 21.

2. I never believed in love at first sight, and I'm not sure I do now, but the first time I met my husband, something in my gut told me there was something special about him.

3. I studied in Australia, and had the time of my life.  I hope that I will be able to go back one day.

4. I love to clean, organize and rearrange things.

5. Growing up, I never imagined I'd be married, own a home, and have somewhat of a career at 24.

6. Although I have a good job, I REALLY want to own my own business, I'm just not sure of how to start, and I'm afraid of failure.

7. I am a perfectionist, and take criticism way too personally.  I know I need to work on that.

8. I would love to live at the beach, especially the Outer Banks or Siesta Key.

9. I still feel guilty that Steven's cats couldn't live with us because of my allergies.

10. I hate pumping gas, but love the smell of gasoline.

11. I'm better at standing up for others than I am standing up for myself.

12. I CAN'T stand people who use poor grammar.  I have actually broken up with boyfriends because of it. When Steven consistently used proper grammar when texting/instant messaging me, I knew he was a keeper.

13. I'm addicted to watching Criminal Minds. 

14. I'm only Facebook friends with some people so I can see what a train wreck their lives are.  The people who peaked in high school and made my life hell, now entertain me by publicly displaying the shit their lives have become.

15. I have no interest in participating in my high school reunions. The majority of the people I want to see, I keep in pretty good contact with.

16. I can't cook to save my life, but Steven always goes back for seconds.  I'm working on it...

17. I despise passive aggressive Facebook statuses.  Handle your business in private.

18. I love staying in hotels and having other people make my bed and wash my towels.

19. One of my first words was "Big Ditka," and yes, I am still a Bears fan.

20. I was a bartender for 3 years, and still don't know what to order when we go out.

21. Even though I met some incredible people in college, I still wish I had gone out of state.

22. I generally don't like surprises.

23. Over the years, I've had some bad roommates...too many to count, but I've learned that the old "you shouldn't live with your friends" isn't true at all.  You can't live with your fake friends, but my 3020 girls and I were great roommates.  I wish we could all live on the same street!

24. Steven's ex-wife has a seriously creepy love affair with Mickey Mouse and all things Disney.  I used to like Disney things, and now that is ruined for me. I want to punch her in the face for this, among other things.

25. I can't lie to save my life, I'm honest to a fault.

26. I love everything Kate Spade.

27. I still have no idea if I want children or not.

28. I hate wearing pants. I live in skirts and dresses.
 
29. Even though I'm totally a fan of women's rights, I sometimes wish I could just stay at home.

30. I took entirely too long to think of 30 interesting/random things about myself, that's pretty lame.

30 Day Blogs Challenge: Day 4/5

Day 4:

Views on religion.

I've been told it is best not to discuss politics or religion.  I think religion is a very personal thing.  I think fundamentalists give their religions a bad name and cause too many wars.  I think church and state should be separate. I think a lot of churches are corrupt and spend their "offering" on materialistic things instead of spreading God's word and helping those in need.

I could go on and on...but onto Day 5:

A time you thought about ending your own life.

Well isn't this a fun topic?  It is no secret that I have battled depression and anxiety for many years.  What is hard to admit is that I have considered this option on many occasions.  My cousin committed suicide a few years ago and it devastated my family. Even though my family was hurt and confused, I understood what it felt like for him to feel hopeless and alone.

When my parents divorced my depression came on full force.  I was angry, hurt and didn't know how to deal.  I lost some long-time friends who couldn't deal with the depressed Michelle and cut me off for good.  This made things worse.  Not only was I working, in school and my family falling apart, I was losing my "friends" too. I took things out on the guy I was dating at the time, and pushed him out of my life abruptly.  He couldn't understand my sadness, and I couldn't explain.  I just wanted to be alone.  My plans to move to Baltimore fell through.  My relationship with my mother fell apart and is destroyed to this day.

I can't blame anyone for not wanting to understand my depression and confusion, but I honestly felt I had no one. I thought about crashing my car.  I thought about taking as many sleeping pills as I could.  Sometimes the only reason I didn't follow through with these plans was the possibility that they would not work and then I would be committed, or injured and permanently handicapped.

I went through the days in a fog.  I am forever grateful to my bff Angela, who let me vent without judgement, and who understood my anxiety and erratic behavior. I had lost touch with some friends and was pushed away by others, but one day Jessica called me (we hadn't talked much for about 2 years due to a "situation" and asked me to meet her at Starbucks.  It was as if no time had passed.  We caught up and in just a few weeks I moved in to her townhouse (where I met another bff, Fox) and Angela moved in shortly after.   Add in Jessica's sister, Heather; Heather's bff Kristin L, Natasha, Liz and "the cousins" Nicole and Kristin H and you have the RHH.

I slowly began to heal.  I met Steven. I fell in love with him and his family. Slowly my days have returned to what is "normal."  Some days are good.  Some days are bad.  Regardless, I now have the most incredible support system in my new family dynamic, my husband, the RHH, and the other friends that have stuck with me during my craziest days.  I can't even list or even truly ever express my gratitude for the people that got me through the thickest fog and continue to support me.

Thanks guys.

I promise I'll have a happier post next time :)