My first real kiss was in 8th grade at a birthday party. Of course we were playing spin the bottle, and the boy who I'll refer to as J took me outside and kissed me on a foggy October night by the lake on the golf course where the party was held.
A very cliche 80's movie scene. I had started crushing on J in 7th grade so of course I thought the next step was to date through high school, lose our virginity on prom night, get engaged at graduation and then raise some kids.
Instead, he started making fun of me in school and I was crushed. I still have hard feelings, but he recently popped up on my Facebook, "people you may know" even though I deliberately denied his friend request (yes he made my life hell and I still remember the horror of middle school and yes, I'm still refusing to be Facebook friends with this guy 11 years later). Curiosity got the best of me, and I'm happy to report that although he is married, I'm still satisfied that my life is better than his. SO THERE! I'm obviously a very mature 25 year old.
I guess J was my first crush, and I dated and dumped a string of guys in high school, but when I think of my first love, my first REAL love, I only think of Steven.
That said, I do have a first sick infatuation, which I'll be more than happy to divulge.
I met B during my freshman year at Bridgewater College. He was 24 to my barely 18, had just got out of the Marines and was so smooth and handsome that I was wrapped around his finger. He knew exactly what to say. In all my previous relationships, I wore the pants. I was the boss, I made the rules, and I broke the heart. He knew all the right things to say and I was in over my head by our second date. For the next 3 years we were on and off. We never said I love you or became Facebook official. He'd be all about me for a few weeks, then disappear. Then one of us would drunkenly call the other and after the booty call, we'd be on again. I would ignore him and play hard to get when I felt him pushing away, he'd come back and the cycle continued.
I had a lot of guy friends in college, and got so much satisfaction showing up to parties with them and seeing the look on his face when I walked in. Before I left to study abroad I remember him screaming at me that if I got on the plane to Australia (with my best guy friend) he would never speak to me again. I'm so thankful I turned my phone off and got on that plane. It was so liberating. Of course the night I got back to the States, the game was back on.
Looking back, I can't believe I let that go on for THREE YEARS. Not to say that I didn't date other guys, but I always went back to B. Towards the end, after changing my phone number, I ran into him at the bar I worked at (though I was off duty) and coincidentally made Steven (married at the time, and whom I had only talked to once before) shield me. I can still remember him screaming "I know you're going to fuck that cop! Fuck you!" And I'm not going to lie, I would die laughing if I could see his face when he found out I married him. Another night while I was working he showed up with his dad and introduced us. I said, "so you're the one responsible for raising this piece of shit?"
The very last time I "saw" him, I was beyond wasted and in my junior year. I started crying, slipped up and said "I love you why don't you love me!?" And yes, I'm embarrassed. After this, I knew I had to break the cycle. I tried the ignore, change my number, etc, but I couldn't shake them. So I did what any college girl as awesome as myself would do.
I well, hung out, with his (super hot) best friend and roommate from the Marine Corp. And I don't even feel bad admitting it. He got the picture after that. And they are no longer friends, but his friend was pretty much done with his ass anyway.
Even though this was a total bitch move, I think I ended up getting a pretty sweet life deal.
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